


Upon His Return

by haderz_gonna_hade



Category: Barry (TV 2018), Bill Hader - Fandom, IT - Stephen King, Saturday Night Live
Genre: Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Im bad at this, Self-indulgent smut, im so sorry, just Hader things, this is just an outlet for my FEELINGS
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-30
Updated: 2019-10-30
Packaged: 2021-01-13 00:30:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,168
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21235148
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/haderz_gonna_hade/pseuds/haderz_gonna_hade
Summary: Bill has just returned from a trip to NYC. He gets some rest and eventually starts getting frisky with you...





	Upon His Return

Your dog, Bark Ruffalo, stirs from his nap on the couch. You hear keys jingling as someone turns the handle and opens the door. “Billy’s home!” you think, almost as excitedly as Bark. Bill steps in, on the phone with his stylist, requesting more plaid and new balance sneakers to be incorporated into his look. Bark runs up to him and greets him with tail wags and slobbery kisses as he hangs up the phone.

“Hey Barky Boy! Did you miss your daddy, oh yes you did, daddy missed you, oh you’re such a good boy, yes you are....” He continues to doggy talk as you grow a little jealous of ‘Barky Boy’. Finally, he stands up and looks at you with those deep blue eyes and that goofy smile. He looks tired but content. With a widening grin, you run and leap into his arms. 

“I haven’t been gone THAT long.” He chuckles between kisses. 

“I know, I just really like you is all. How was New York?”

“It was pretty rad, I met Keith Morrison!” 

“I saw; you looked like a 12-year-old girl at a meet-and-greet with One Direction,” you say with a laugh. 

He blushes as he begins to unpack his bag. He goes to the bedroom to put on something more comfortable than his interview suit and tie. Billy hates fancy clothes. You know how the saying goes.  _ ‘You can take a boy out of Tulsa...’ _ He emerges wearing a white t-shirt and faded blue jeans.  _ ‘But you can’t take Tulsa out of that boy,’ _ you think to yourself as he plops himself on the couch with a sleepy sigh. Bark Ruffalo takes this opportunity to jump on him and lick his face before he has time to react. You walk over to kick your pup off his lap and proclaim provocatively, “That’s MY seat, Mister.” Bill smiles and bites his bottom lip as you straddle his hips and cuddle up to him. 

After a few moments of a much needed hug, Bill’s ever-wandering hands find their way to your butt. He gives it a good squeeze and you moan quietly and begin to kiss his neck. Working your way up to his ear, you then follow his jawline to his lips. He pulls you in tighter as the kissing intensifies, and your hips begin to move almost involuntarily. He breathlessly breaks the kiss and puts his forehead against yours as you comb your fingers through his hair. He pulls away and looks at you, you can see that sparkle of love in his eyes as he takes you all in and tucks your hair behind your ear. Without breaking his mesmerized gaze he says softly “Let’s go take a nap” 

“Okay,” you whisper and kiss his forehead. 

As you both get up to go to bed, you sense that he’s too tired for anything more than kisses and cuddles, but you’re craving the feel of his body against yours. You need skin to skin contact so you ask innocently, “Can we sleep naked at least?” 

He smirks and rolls his eyes and says, “Sure dear.” 

You crawl into bed while Bill flips through channels on the TV. Seeing that nothing interesting is on TCM, he turns it off and rolls to face you. You snuggle into him, nuzzling into his bare chest and hugging him. Without thinking, you swing your leg around him, just so that you’re touching as much of him as possible. In that moment two bodies become one. His breathing slows to match yours and your heartbeats align. Gradually, you feel the tension in his muscles lift as he finally relaxes and eventually falls asleep. 

You manage to sleep a little too but you wake up before him and decide you’re hungry. As quietly as possible you untangle yourself from his embrace and go to make dinner. 

As soon as you finish chopping the vegetables, Billy walks out of the bedroom looking well rested and damn sexy. You had thrown on a robe to cook in, but Bill is still completely naked. You stare at him longingly as he walks closer, and you barely hear him when he asks what he can help with. 

“Uh yeah, could you put a pot of water on, I’m gonna make pasta.” You say catching your breath. 

He kisses your cheek and turns to the sink, then places the pot on the stove and walks away without starting the burner. He smiles seductively at your puzzled expression as he gets closer. “It’s a touch early for dinner, don’t you think?” He says with a raised eyebrow and a deep, overly fancy British kind of voice. 

“I suppose so, my good sir.” You answer in an equally dramatic accent. 

“What ever shall we do to pass the time, miss?” He asks, as he gently grabs your waist. 

His magnetic energy is overpowering as he gazes into your eyes. You get a little weak at the knees as he cups your face and moves in for a slow, deep kiss. As he pulls you closer, you feel his erection rock hard against your body. 

“You’re such a goofball,” you mutter just to keep yourself from melting in his arms. 

“Who me? Never,” he says, sounding very close to his Keith Morrison voice. 

You jokingly push him away with a, “Ugh, you’re so weird.” 

“I thought-a you like it when I do-a the voices. No?” Vinny Vedecci asks. 

Some of his voices do turn you on just a little…

But you can’t let him know that, you’re trying to play hard-to-get and savor the moment. Regaining some composure, you look him in the eye and drop your robe off your shoulders a bit. You kiss him briefly and walk away without a word. He stares at you, frozen in a trance as you head towards the bedroom. You turn to him and drop your robe all the way and ask, “Are you coming or what?” 

He begins to follow you, still a little dazed and totally love-struck. He catches up to you just as you reach the bed. He grabs you and quickly spins you around. You both can’t resist it any longer, he practically tackles you onto the bed, kissing you furiously and fondling any part of you he can. You roll over together so that you’re on top. You kiss his neck as he gently runs his hands all over your body. After moving to kiss his lips again, he rolls you sideways and kisses his way down to your breasts. He caresses your inner thigh while he sucks and gently bites your boobs. You stroke his hair and moan as his hand moves closer to your clit. You give his head a gentle push downward and he follows the silent instructions. He kisses his way down your tummy and softly and sweetly begins to eat you out. His warm tongue and soft lips know exactly what to do, and you tense and moan as a wave of pleasure consumes you. He moves to kiss your inner thigh just to tease you. He makes sure to leave a few marks down there while he’s at it. It drives you crazy when he does that. Sensing that his teasing has got you properly all worked up, he climbs on top of you and presses his body on yours as you kiss passionately. You wrap your legs around his waist and he begins to grind against you. He slows down and pins your arms above your head. You’re completely at his mercy and just that thought alone causes you to moan. He smiles at this development and then lets go of your arms and buries his face into your chest. You hear a muffled, “You’re so cute,” while you stroke his hair. He lifts his head and rests his chin on his hand and looks at you lustfully. 

“I love you,” he whispers as he tucks your hair behind your ear again. 

You lean into his touch and hold his hand on your cheek. Then you gently lift his hand and softly kiss his fingers. “I love you too Billy,” you say softly. “Now would you please get on with it and fuck me?” 

“Hells yeah,” he says, like Dave in Hot Rod while he jumps up onto his knees. 

He drags your lower half onto his lap and begins to tease you with his tip. Pretending to be unimpressed by his efforts you reach down and grab him. You play with him as you sit up and maneuver yourself on top. Straddling his pelvis, you can get what you want at last. You slowly lower yourself onto his dick, shuddering as it gets deeper and deeper inside you. He grabs your hips and groans,  _ “fuck” _ as you ride him slowly. 

“Fuck I missed you,” he says, as he starts to take control of the rhythm. 

You lean back a little so that his thrusts hit your g-spot just right. He can tell by your sudden wide-eyed moan that he’s got you where he wants you. He digs his fingernails into your hips as he fucks you harder and faster. You involuntarily scream out a few choice words as you feel yourself get close to climax, but become overwhelmed so you lose the rhythm and collapse onto his chest. Bill chuckles and rolls you over while still inside you. 

“Mmm, I missed you too,” you whisper as he kisses your neck and starts to thrust again. You only stay in this position for a little while because you both find it a little boring. Suddenly he pulls out and gets off the bed. He beckons you with a curled finger to join him at the edge of the mattress. You happily oblige because you know he can get a lot more leverage that way and you really want him to pound you hard. You dangle your legs over the side of the bed and he enters you again. Bill moves your legs onto his shoulders and wraps his arms around each thigh. He gives you a cheeky smile as he starts to screw you harder and harder. He puts his head down and works hard to keep his pace and force. Your moaning is out of control as you get closer and closer. Through gritted teeth he groans, “Cum for me,” and the bass in his voice sends you reeling. You squeeze your eyes shut as your pleasure builds to its breaking point. Orgasm rocks your whole body as you squirm involuntarily and gasp. 

_ “Wow,” _ you say, as you both take a bit of a breather. 

Your legs are still shaking when Bill hops back into bed. He cuddles up to you and kisses your forehead. You look up to meet his lips and kiss him softly while you stroke his dick. After a while he cups your cheek.

“Are you ready?” He asks softly. 

You smile and nod, you desperately want him to cum inside you. He’s been holding back so well but now it’s his turn to finish. You climb on top of him once more and begin to ride him slowly but with purpose. He reaches up to fondle your breast as you move up and down on his dick. He guides your movements as you start to ride him faster. 

“Fuck, I’m close,” he whispers as he squeezes your ass. 

“Mmm, cum inside me, Bill,” you moan in response. 

In a few more thrusts you feel him tense up completely. He moans and weakly mumbles  _ “fuck,” _ and you know he’s there. He bites his lip and makes a few uncoordinated hip movements. He lets out the breath he has been holding and brings his hand to his head in and breathlessly groans,  _ “oh my god...” _

You smile victoriously at him as you lean down to kiss him. You feel his smile form against your lips and you pull back to just look at him. That beautiful smile, that goddamn stupid dorky smile, you think, as you melt into his arms. He holds you for what feels like forever, and you both wish it could be. But eventually you have to go and clean yourselves up. (Always pee after sex ladies!) He grabs you a handful of tissues, and you position them to be ready. 

“Open the flood gates!” you say as you get off of him. 

You quickly replace his dick which had been holding everything in with the wad of tissues at your entrance to catch his cum as it leaks out of you. 

“That’s hot,” he says sarcastically, as you waddle off to the bathroom. 

“Shut up, Hader,” you say in return. 

After cleaning up you both crawl back into bed. He pulls up the newest episode of  _ Snapped _ on the TV, and you cuddle and enjoy the drama of true crime. You fall asleep on his shoulder, knowing that all is right in your world now that Bill is home. 

  
  



End file.
